What to do when your libido’s gone AWOL
For men and women, a healthy libido is a sign that our health and energy system is functioning well. Sexual health and sexual energy is just as important as other parts of your health.
Sexuality and being able to express yourself sexually is part of being human. When we feel confident in our bodies and who we are as sexual beings, we have more energy, are more creative and exude an air of personal power.
It is natural for the libido to ebb and flow – particularly when we are moving through challenging life situations, diverting a lot of energy into another area of your life or experiencing certain health conditions. For women it can change depending on what day it is of your menstrual cycle.
If your sex drive feels unusually low and you cannot work out why, here are some tips from a natural, practical and spiritual perspective.
1. Check your hormones
Testosterone is the main sex hormone that drives your libido. However there are other hormones that influence sex drive. SHBG, progesterone, oestrogen, cortisol and the more active form of testosterone – DHT. These hormones can be tested and are helpful in establishing if there’s a hormonal link to your low libido particularly if you’re experiencing other ‘hormonal’ issues such as PMS, period pain, mood and energy changes. Read my Guide to PMS, if this is a big factor.
2. Reassess your medication
The oral contraceptive pill and anti-depressants are medications that can alter your hormone and neurotransmitter function and result in a low libido. Consider changing these to another or weaning off, with the assistance of your medical practitioner.
3. Ease off the Partying
Alcohol, party drugs, sugar and crap food. Binging on these every weekend is enough to alter your hormones, hinder detoxification, change your brain chemistry and result in sluggishness and low libido. Initially it may feel like a fun, sexy and glamorous lifestyle but your body likely wants nourishment instead.
4. Improve your relationship with money
Your root chakra is the energy centre that sits right at the base of the spine and underneath your butt. The sacral chakra is the energy centre that sits just below the naval. Energetically, these two chakras govern the health of the reproductive organs as well as your creativity, sexuality and material wealth. Establishing a healthy relationship with your material life (including money) via getting on top of your finances and feeling positive about money can improve the health of these chakras and therefore the health of your sexuality.
5. Start that Creative Project
As stated above, in relation to the root and sacral chakra, creativity and sexuality go hand in hand. The energy is very similar. After all, the reproductive organs are where we create life. If you’re feeling creatively unfulfilled, chances are you’ll feel similar sexually. Get started on something that lights up a fire within you creatively, such as painting, dancing, singing, anything to express yourself as a creative being. It’ll make you feel good either way. If you’re creatively blocked, begin meditation to increase your creativity!
6. Move your Hips
Stuck energy in the reproductive area, will create a sensation of feeling stagnant and a bit ‘blah’, aka low libido. Get the blood flowing by moving those hips. For me, dancing is the best thing for this. Our hips store a lot of emotion and energy and can struggle to flow if we’re consistently sitting at desks, driving and not moving much. Dance is also an amazing way to express yourself creatively. If dancing isn’t your thing, consider yin yoga for deep connective tissue and fascia stretches in the pelvic area – this is great for releasing stored emotion here as well.
7. Take a holiday
When’s the last time you took a break? How was your libido last time you were on holidays? Most peoples libidos naturally increase on holiday because the body is relaxed, the mind is present, and stress is reduced. If this happens to you, this is a good indication that stress plays a major role in your sex drive. See below…
8. Reduce stress and improve sleep
Stress and sleep deprivation are major libido killers. Even mild day-to-day stress and bad sleep is enough to dampen anyone’s libido and create a feeling of imbalance. Stress and sleep management is something I recommend for everyone. Meditation, yoga, counselling, herbal medicine, eating well. Do what it takes to cope better with the stress you’re faced with and get a good night’s sleep.
9. Love your Body
Negative body image affects self-esteem, self-confidence and diminishes our personal power. Not exactly a recipe for a healthy libido. Negative body image runs deep, affects many, and requires a gentle loving approach to healing the self on all levels. Find a professional who can help you implement tools to accepting your self, your imperfections and totally own and love your body.